Sunday, March 23, 2008

Random Musings

Just to spice up the blog a bit, I've written several thoughts about life in India below.

Talk is cheap... When driving in Bangalore, you can be assured of being cut off by a car or truck every few seconds. Amazingly, many of the cars (particularly those sold by Hyundai) have stickers on the back windows that read: "Caring for you...Always" and "Drive home a relationship". I must say that after being cut off by an aggressive Hyundai, those words ring quite hollow.

Another Indian language... Speaking of cars, I've found that there is a universal language in India, and it's not Hindi or English--it's car horn Morse code. I've done some translation, for example: (i) a short honk means, 'I'd like to pass you, but I'll slow down if you swerve in front of me.' (ii) two short honks mean, 'I'm going to pass you, and I'll be mad if you swerve in front of me.' (iii) three long honks mean, 'I might be an easy-going person, but I'm ready to fight you if necessary, you moron.'

So that's where it goes... If you're like me, you've often wondered where all the pulp goes when they make 'pulp-free' orange juice in the US. Well, it turns out that Indian juice companies actually brag about how much pulp they have in their drinks. If I find out that American pulp is not making its way to India, I'll be the first the write the business plan...

Pinhead politics... One unusual feature of India is the pervasiveness of big political billboards showing badly cropped mug shots of a political clan, with mismatched head sizes that are apparently in proportion to each person's political power. An example of such a billboard follows. The words on the billboards are always in the local language, but I've added what I suspect to be their meaning in English.

By the way, the featured politician above looks quite familiar... For more fun with Indian political billboards click here.

Well that explains it... I've often wondered why India's fanatical love of cricket hasn't translated to baseball. Then, yesterday I found the answer on this T-shirt in a clothing store (they've mistaken American football for baseball--Ron R, when we visit here in August, we'll have to hold that baseball clinic that you suggested).

The spicy breakfast diet.. If anyone thought that Amy was joking below about writing a book on 'the spicy breakfast diet', think again. This diet works. I'm fastidiously avoiding the posting of too many pictures of myself here so that I can maximize the shock value when you all see me in person again (and also so that none of you will believe in the diet so much that you steal the idea).

6 comments:

Mary Jane Hollis said...

Tim,

This was fun. I especially liked the political poster satire -- also the great picture of Thomas.

The book reviews were a favorite as my trip has cultivated a real interest in me in India's history.

Thanks,

MJ

deranek said...

Oh my goodness Tim, I couln't stop laughing! Too funny. I can't wait to show the shirt to Jim. Good for you regarding the "Spicy Food diet"! Can't wait to see pictures when you get back! Thanks for the giggle.

Kim

Srinivas said...

This is quite a classic - I did not know your abilities to meld photoshop or some other such tool with your cutting humor. I feel like I should point my parents toward this blog. Does the offending pinhead politician know about this? He deserves it.

Srinivas

Tim Fisher said...

Srinivas,
I've heard nothing from the self-proclaimed party boss. Please send me your parents' email address, and I'll invite them to the blog.
Tim

Anonymous said...

I believe Prof Garimella has seen the poster and was very impressed with your photoshop skills. :)

Tim Fisher said...

Sriharsha,
I heard that he has always wanted a mullet.
TSF